Joleyn Larson Photography & Design

i see you now

among familiar faces

among strangers too

you are grown up

your own person,

no longer a small shadow to me

you are drenched with beauty, 

your eyes speak through me

i see someone

someone I love very much,

in your face

i ache

emotions rain in

questions flood my soul

does she remember?

we never forgot

time lost

tick – tock

twelve years gone

new beginnings

my hearts’s eternal hope

just waiting,

just wait,

wait.

to you see your face again.

and now, i do.

genesis 31:49

may the Lord

keep watch

between you and me

while we are away

from each other.

jml

01.31.09

Me and peanut went out to the mall for a girl day. Got our nails done, had some gelato, even got some shoes. What else could a girl want?

“A word was secretly brought to me, my ears caught a whisper of it.” Job 4:12 (NIV)

If only I had called her.

If only I had listened to that little voice in my head that nudged me to call her several times over the past few months. Although we were casual acquaintances whose paths did not cross very often, I still considered her a friend and a dear sister in Christ. She had been fighting cancer for years, but had recently been in remission and in good health. More than a year had passed since we had spoken, but we would still smile and wave at each other at church.

For several weeks recently, this friend kept coming to mind. I had felt God laying her on my heart, and I kept intending to call her, but would get busy and forget. Then I arrived at church one Sunday morning, only to read the shocking news that she had passed away. I was stunned. I had seen her fairly recently, buzzing around the sanctuary, and she looked great, but now she was gone. Now it was too late to call her. The door of opportunity to hear her kind voice had slammed shut. If only I had listened to that inner voice of the Holy Spirit prompting me to pick up the phone to call and check on her. I was unaware that she was sick again, but God knew.

If only I had stopped whatever I was doing, and taken just a few minutes to let her know I was thinking of her. I was unaware of her need to be remembered, but God knew.

If only I had called her, and let her know how her unshakable joy had impacted my walk with God. I was unaware of her need for encouragement, but God knew.

Tears filled my eyes as I considered not only the loss of this sweet, precious woman, but my own remorse for not listening to God’s whispers to my heart. God’s ways are not our ways, as we are told in Isaiah 55:8, and I have learned through this experience to always listen to the quietest of voices, and recognize that this voice is holy.

I now understand that when I suddenly feel the need to call someone whom I haven’t thought of, spoken to, or seen in months or even years, that it may be God Himself whispering to my heart. When I have an urge to tell someone I love them, even though I am sure they already know it, God is whispering to my heart. When I find myself dropping by to visit someone in the hospital that I don’t know well or possibly do not them at all, God is whispering to my heart.

God knows what His children need, and He uses each of us to meet those needs. Just because we don’t have all the answers yet, or do not know why God is prompting us to do a certain thing, doesn’t mean we should ignore the whisper. His ways are not our ways… but His way is the best way… and the necessary way.

When I learned of my friend’s passing, I made a commitment to myself and to God that I will never again ignore even the tiniest, quietest whisper from the Holy Spirit. I will pray for discernment and whether He tells me to make a big sacrifice, or simply make a phone call, my hope is that I will step out in faith and obey, without delay.

If God has been whispering to you about someone or something, listen to those whispers. Don’t discount them. Pray for discernment and be willing to take action, even if you don’t fully understand the reason yet. Unfortunately, the consequence of not listening to those whispers, could result in you having to say, “If only …” just like me.

Have you heard His whisper?

Dear Lord, forgive me for not listening to Your voice. Help me to recognize your activity in my heart, and act promptly on the commands you speak to me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

a friend had given peanut these purple socks for her to wear on her surgery day. now she wears them everyday! she lurves her purple socks.

on the way to school, the kids had noticed the shadow of our exp. looked alot like that shrek guy. tr pulled out the camera and snapped the shot.

Jeesh, you are wintering well. Happy, happy birthday!

not only did i remember your childhood nick name i’m pulling out all the cute lil pics too. happy birthday ace.

just click on the pics for a better view.

i followed our sun around this morning,  {after dropping the kids off at school} it had just peeked itself out from the horizon. it was so huge, and there was so much fog, it had an eerie feeling..calling me to take it’s picture. after each stop, it would say keep going, there is more. i went until i could go no more. a dead end stopped me in my tracks, but gave me the most beautiful photo of the entire morning. used my little sony for these.

peanut’s little snowflake. beautiful.

Apart from the Crowd by Anna McPartlin :: Synoposis :: In a little Irish town like Kenmare, there’s no need to worry whether people will discover your secrets. They already have.For Mary, that means being remembered for her tragic losses, even if she’d rather get on with her life. For her cousin Ivan, as close as a brother, the gossip is all about how his wife took the kids and ran off with her new lover. For Mary’s friend Penny, it’s an old romance that didn’t work out quite right, and a current affair with a bottle of vodka.Then Sam Sullivan rents the cottage next door to Mary, and within hours the whole town is talking about the film-star-handsome American. When Sam hurts his back while helping his new neighbor and spends the next week confined to a mattress on her floor, gossip runs rampant. But neither Kenmare nor Mary know about the secrets Sam is so successfully hiding….For Mary’s circle of friends, Sam’s arrival marks more than one change. And Mary — whose unlucky history has kept her apart from the crowd much of her life — has finally found a man with whom she feels she might truly connect. But so long as both are captive to memories they dare not reveal, the past is a barrier that will keep them forever alone. In this powerful novel, Anna McPartlin perfectly captures the drama, the emotion, and the laughter of a small Irish community, for those who fit in — and those who don’t. Apart from the Crowd mixes wit and insight to create an engrossing tale that will keep you reading to the very last page.

Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos  :: Synopis :: Cornelia Brown, heroine of de los Santos’s bestselling Love Walked In, returns in a gracefully written if formulaic sophomore effort. Cornelia and her husband, Teo, move to suburban Philadelphia, where she finds it difficult to fit into the sorority-like atmosphere. Despite a bevy of domestic dramas (planning a family among them), Cornelia’s first-person chapters are the quietest of the three points of view. Seemingly shallow and vicious, neighbor Piper shows her kinder side as she struggles through her best friend’s fight against cancer. Though the extreme of Piper’s two-facedness isn’t convincing, her moments of sincerity invite genuine empathy. Cornelia also yields narrative time to Dev, a precocious teenager whose father is missing and whose mother develops a friendship with Cornelia. Dev’s connection to the story is initially unclear, though he does grow close to Clare, a troubled teenager with an unconventional connection to Cornelia, and a late-breaking development grounds his role more firmly. Though each story line is a good read on its own, they don’t always braid nicely, and while the predictable plot wanders into sappiness, the prose is polished and the suburban travails are familiar enough that fans of the women’s fiction and higher-brow mommy lit will relate.

Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman by Beth Moore   :: Description :: Going up against heavyweights bent on her destruction, Esther trusted God and landed a blow that saved her people. The Old Testament story of Esther is a profile in courage and contains many modern parallels for today’s woman. Esther’s destiny can be yours as you know more deeply the God who is in your corner.  An in-depth and very personal examination of this great story of threat and deliverance. Peel back the layers of history and see how very contemporary and applicable the story of Esther is to our lives. If you’ve ever felt inadequate, threatened, or pushed into situations that seemed overpowering, this is the study for you. Just as it was tough being a woman in Esther’s day, it’s tough today. This portion of God’s Word contains treasures to aid us in our hurried, harried, and pressured lives.

lil peanut loves writing letters. she carefully picks out the envelope, decorates it, stuffs it with her secret letter, and then places it on the pillow of her beloved recipient.

One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students. As he stood in front of the group of high powered verachievers he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.” Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is this jar full?” 

Everyone in the class said, “Yes.” Then he said, “Really?” He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?” By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good” he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is this jar full?” “No,” the class shouted. Once again he said, “Good.” Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?” One eager beaver raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it.” 

“No,” the speaker replied, “that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all. What are the ‘big rocks’ in your life?  Your faith? Your spouse? Your children; Your loved ones; Your education; Your dreams; A worthy cause; Teaching or mentoring others; Doing things that you love; Time for yourself; Your health; Your significant other. Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you’ll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you’ll fill your life with little things you worry about that don’t really matter, and you’ll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff (the big rocks).  

 ”So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question:  What are the ‘big rocks’ in my life?   Then, put those in your jar first.